We have gone demented. Across the globe, the world media reports on the dangers of cancer. In recent years, the BBC have been among the worst offenders - using 'statistics' to bolster their overblown claims that cancer is "public enemy number one" and quoting 'scientists' as predicting millions of new cases of cancer to come.

When  it comes to statistics, I'm with Ernest Rutherford - “If your experiment needs statistics, you ought to have done a better experiment.” Even this most distinguished of scientists shares my disdain, so who could possibly doubt that my cynicism is justified?

As for those predictions of the 'scientists' that the BBC so loves to fawn over, these predictions are simply estimates. They are mere guesses and as such are likely to be no more useful than a forecast from the Met Office.

Meanwhile, the calls for ever more funding of cancer treatments continue: this 'blog' from Cancer Research quite predictably reports that there is a need to increase spend in the NHS on cancer.

All this nonsense we hear about cancer being a serious problem comes from 'scientists', from the people behind organisations such as Cancer Research (which have a clear agenda), and from the boot-licking BBC who (as is their wont) genuflect to the scaremongering 'scientists'. All they have are 'statistics', 'models', and 'estimates'. Well you can use statistics to prove anything that's even remotely true, and when it comes to 'estimates' your guess is as good as mine - and as good as that of the 'scientists' the BBC are so happy to kowtow to.

Small print: this is a spoof article loosely based on Jenkins' view of swine flu. I'm posting it as @JennyRohn is promoting on Twitter the rather wonderful #SpoofJenks hashtag. See here for more. For more serious blogposts see my regular blog Stuff And Nonsense.